Barley Salad

My goodness it's been hot here the last few days. Really hot, the kind of heat that I take personally. There is absolutely no excuse whatsoever for this as far as I'm concerned and it makes me lethargic and grumpy. And strangely hungry. Because the fact is, there are only so many cool drinks and smoothies I can consume before I realize that I really haven't eaten much of anything at all.

I'm always on the lookout for a good, substantial salad that can be made ahead and kept cool in the refrigerator. No one in my family will touch potato salads and pasta salads seem to get old fast. But leafing through my new copy of How to Cook Everything Vegetarian I came across a salad that looked substantial and and cooling with its dressing of lemon juice and fresh dill tossed with cooked barley, scallions, and chunks of cucumber.

We ate this the other night on the patio along with freshly baked challah, homemade mozzarella, marinated carrots, lemony-garlic chickpeas, and fresh fruit. The barley salad was crunchy and toothsome and the yogurt and cucumbers somehow seemed to cool down the sweltering air.

This would make a lovely traveling dish, whether for a brown bag lunch, a potluck, or a picnic. The recipe is here. Let me know what you think.

Heat

On the meteorological front, they say it's coming. On the feline fertility front....it's here.

I don't think I ever mentioned the tiny gray cat that showed up here days before the bar mitzvah. Every female cat I've ever owned has been promptly spayed so believe it or not, I've never been around a pregnant cat. This girl showed up with swollen teats but not a kitten in sight. Given her insistence on getting in the house and settling down, I figured she'd be having kittens soon. I ran a bunch of ads and called all the shelters but, guess what? She wasn't the only preggo kitty in town. I couldn't throw her out, could I? I think there's a sign over my door that says "sucker" in cat language.

After a few days, she was still swollen up, but maybe less so. It was hard to tell, until one friend felt her up and decided she'd had the kittens and was just engorged. I can't help but wonder what must have happened to her kittens and how she ended up in our neighborhood. Meanwhile, the cat had definitely moved in and joined the family without upsetting the other cats too terribly much. We tossed more than few names around and have finally settled on Chutki (the little sister in more than one Bollywood movie). I called the vet but had to wait until tomorrow for her checkup. All is good, right?

Except that yesterday morning I noticed she was out in the back yard entertaining every male cat in the neighborhood (except our own, who has clearly had it with all the females in the house and only drops by to eat these days). I immediately scared the boys off, brought Chutki in and made it clear to the kids that she was to stay inside. She made quite the ruckus last night, moaning and carrying on, trying to get out through the basment windows and knocking things over in the process. Somehow she was successful as we found her outside this morning with a crowd of noisy boys around again. So it's probably too late and I fear we're going to end up with kittens after all. Because, you know, four cats isn't enough.

Smitten

I just got my own copy of Artisan Bread in Five Minutes a Day and I am in love! I had it out from the library last month just long enough to experiment with the challah recipe which was delicious but kind of funny looking. Only this week did I start with the basic bread recipe and ....wow!

Here's the deal: you make a wet dough, let it rise once, and set aside until needed in the refrigerator. For days, if that's what works for you. No kneading, no proofing, no careful timing. The downsides are these: the wet dough can be tricky to work and you need to have space in the refrigerator to store the dough. If you can handle those, then give this book a look because the upsides are many: delicious, wholesome bread on your timetable with virtually no effort whatsoever.

While I love fresh bread as much as anyone, I am not one of those cooks to rhapsodize over the meditative glories of kneading dough. I freely admit to using a bread machine for making my family's challah week after week for most of the last 10 years though of course I braid it and bake it in the oven for the characteristic shape. And the machine has been a workhorse for turning out loaf after loaf of hearty, whole grain bread which is perfectly serviceable for sandwiches and toast. But the machine simply can't do anything in the realm of crusty peasant breads. And all the recipes I've looked at over the years involving numerous carefully timed rises and knock-downs, sponges and starters, and complex baking equipment left me cold.

The other afternoon, after I bought the book, I put some water, yeast, flour, and salt in a big bowl, stirred it together, and went to work. While I was gone, the rest of my family pulled off chunks of dough and and made numerous pizzas, some with standard mozzarella and tomato sauce, others with roasted red peppers, basil, and goat cheese. My kids have never gone for homemade pizza but everyone declared this to be the best pizza ever. So there.

I took the last of the dough and made a quick baguette this morning which was almost immediately devoured. I considered posting a video of the knife slicing through the crackling crust but without the aroma it wouldn't have been complete.

I immediately mixed a new batch of dough in the same bowl without washing so as to collect all the old dough bits and incorporate their sour flavor into the new dough. I am looking forward to experimenting with many of the recipes in the book and I encourage you to give it a look, too. Normally I would post a recipe at this point, but I think it's worth reading the book to get the technique down.

Why I Love My Job

There are lots of reasons, many of which I've written about here. Tonight provided yet another.

A young man just enrolled in my class. He is very polite, very tall, and very Chinese. With my many Latino and Russian students, it's always clear to me which are first and last names, but with Chinese and Vietnamese students it's harder to tell. When I asked this fellow which name I should address him by in class he said, "Call me Paco".

I love that.

18 Years

Yesterday was our anniversary and in all the hustle and bustle of friends leaving and the first day of the term I nearly forgot about it altogether. Nothing special happened, I didn't even manage a gift or a cake or a bar of chocolate for my husband. Yes, I am feeling like a worm.

We've seen quite a few marriages go on the rocks in the last few years so I guess there's something to be said for ours which feels solid enough after 18 years that an anniversary is just another day.

Everything I wrote last year still holds true, and then some. Here's to the next 18 years!

I'm Back

It's been a busy few weeks around here and my one week break just flew by in a flurry of outings, sunburn, good meals, friends, and the occasional margarita.

We took trips to Sauvie Island, Neskowin, and Ridgefield National Wildlife Refuge. We've had lovely meals at Chennai Masala, Pho Van, and yes, even at home on a perfect Midsummer's Eve.

It was a good week for thrift stores and vintage finds including old rickrack, beautiful buttery soft cotton sheets, a charming Japanese embroidery magazine from 1974, lovely old printed cotton handkerchiefs, and a whole jar filled with chandelier crystals. Not sure what I'm going to do with those but how could I pass them up? I was sad to hear that this would be the last year for the St Rita's Catholic Church Rummage Sale, source of most of these extremely inexpensive finds.

Oh--we met these guys at our farmers market and they were a hoot. Lovely produce, too. Monkey Boy may be volunteering with them this summer.

Here are few favorite photos from the last few days:




Now that the Big Event has passed and the friends have gone home it's back to reality: work, laundry, meals, and summer schedules--all of which are surprisingly more appealing to me than I could have imagined. Oh, and maybe a bit more regular blogging......

A Meal for Midsummer's Eve

So we had a bar mitzvah last weekend. And fed somewhere around 100 people. There were bagels with whitefish salad, huge pans of spanakopita, quinoa salad, fruit, green salad, and hundreds cookies, nearly everything cooked by friends just for us. The night before the bar mitzvah, a very dear friend brought us a delicious Shabbat dinner of moussaka, asparagus, and tiny jewel-like pastries among other delights, with a spare pan of moussaka just in case. We've been eating well on all these leftovers and only last night did I really get around to cooking a proper meal after finally cleaning out the refrigerator.

There were lots of reasons to make something truly memorable. Our very dear friends are still staying with us, and not only was it Friday night which always calls for a special dinner, but it was also the first day of summer and the longest day of the year. The weather was lovely enough that I decided it was time to haul the trusty old Weber kettle out of the garage even though we're not big grill people. Maybe it's that we eat so little meat. And, honestly, it's kind of pain. We never seem to have charcoal on hand which wouldn't be such a big deal except that I won't eat food that tastes like gasoline so only Lazzari will do. Luckily it's easier to find than it used to be. And it seems to take forever to get enough heat to cook, after which the fire seems to fade all too quickly. Really, a big production and yet only the grill would do.

The meal I had in mind is a summer favorite of mine: grilled vegetables with a basil aïoli. I confess that my usual approach to this tasty sauce has been to mix crushed basil and garlic in to store bought mayonnaise but, perhaps feeling a bit too full of myself, I decided yesterday was the day to make my own from scratch. I started using Mark Bittman's basic mayonnaise recipe from this book, met with utter failure, and saved it using Deborah Madison's instructions from this book. Despite a few pitfalls and blender-induced temporary hearing loss, in the end I had a beautiful, velvety and perfectly emulsified sauce that made the grilled eggplant, zucchini, and peppers sing. To complete our feast, we had fresh challah, Orangette's simple but insanely tasty chickpea salad, a variety of cheeses, and the first summer fruits of the season. Of course we ate outside next to my bubbling washtub fountain surrounded by the sound of birds tucking in for the evening. You simply can't do better than this: tasty food and dear friends on an early summer evening. I'll give you a recipe for what I made but of course you can use this approach to grill and serve anything your heart desires. Just make sure to enjoy it outside, on a perfect evening with people you really love.

Mosaic Monday--The Bar Mitzvah Edition

So we had a bar mitzvah. What can I say? It was delightful. After a little tiny mini freakout as the guests started arriving, MonkeyBoy (or should I switch to MonkeyMan?) collected himself and did an absolutely fabulous job. With the best ever bar mitzvah tutor at his side, he helped lead prayers and songs, read his 12 verse Torah portion flawlessly, and delivered a drash (an interpretation of his Torah reading) that was clear and well-received. Best of all, he had a wonderful time and enjoyed being king for the day.

My Torah reading went so smoothly that I might just step up to read a bit more often. That was mostly due to MonkeyBoy's help which shows just how much he's learned. I gave up on the DPS. I knew I wouldn't be able to say what I needed to say without crying, so what was the point? What MonkeyBoy knows is that he is loved, not only by his family, but by a whole community of friends and family who came to support him on a very special day.

None of this could have come together as smoothly as it did without all the hard work of many, many friends and family members who helped with food, flowers, photos, set-up, delivery, and a hundred different things that needed to be done. Our guests were generous in their support of MonkeyBoy's mitzvah project and the kids at Kateri Park will now be well supplied with pencils, notebooks, and other school supplies for the foreseeable future. Anything I asked for I got from so many people I hardly know how to start thanking everyone. An event like this makes me realize how very lucky I am to be part of a warm, caring Jewish community and an even wider community of friends who came from near and far to be with us.

I Love This

I received the following in the comments:

This blog could be more exciting if you can create another topic that everyone can relate on.

Who can't "relate on" food?

This blog would be more exciting if I cooked more often and had more to write about. And if the spambots went away.......

My New Hero

I just learned about Doug Ward through a local homeschooling list. He's just been suspended for refusing to give his special ed students a standardized test they have no chance of passing.

Having been in the position of being forced to give inappropriate standardized test to students I completely understand his reluctance to participate or subject his students to the ordeal. I've been forced to give kids with a 1st grade English reading level 10th grade tests. Why? Because our program's funding is dependent on compliance with the NCLB regulations. I'm told our results don't matter and that I should tell my students "it doesn't matter". They get to feel incompetent and be told I'm wasting their time. What a deal!

This high stakes testing nonsense absolutely burns me up. So kudos to you, Doug Ward, for standing up for your students.

Salsa Verde

If you keep up with my other blog at all, you know that my son's bar mitzvah is coming up in a matter of, well, days. So there hasn't been a great deal of excitement on the cooking front. A lot of pasta, salads, smoothies, and veggie juices as we try to get one kid through final exams and another ready for his big day on Saturday.

But when your kid says, "Mom, your green salsa is the best. You'll make it for my bar mitzvah party, right?", what's a mother to do? In addition to buying 3 pounds of coffee, 2 bottles of Manischevitz, numerous 6-packs of Hansen's soda at the supermarket today, I added a few pounds of tomatillos, some fat jalapeños, limes, and a few bunches of scallions to the party supplies in my cart. Because if my kid wants my salsa verde for his bar mitzvah party, you can bet he's going to get it.

This particular salsa is thick and tangy. The tomatillos are very gelatinous so you want this to come to room temperature before serving or it's just a bit weird. Obviously the heat can be managed by your use of chiles, but then again, you never know when you're going to get surprise firecracker. The tomatillos and chiles are roasted but that's the only time consuming part. Then everything is tossed in the blender and whizzed until smooth. So simple, and so very tasty. My recipe is here. Do give it a try.

Mosaic Monday

1. mirna's heart *, 2. fringe, 3. worn, 4. Momiji at the Lakeside, 5. Blue World, 6. Untitled, 7. Orange on Gold, 8. 0604 Rockin' Bokeh 156/365, 9. Possibly maybe, 10. summer cartwheels (day 7 | year 2.5), 11. Stargazing, 12. noon, 13. Dresses, 14. post_20080608170302, 15. Chinatown, 16. Colours of Little India

It's been a while, hasn't it?

Very Superior?

I find it hard to believe. Maybe it's due to making sure my children have a religious education. Or perhaps it's my lack of red nail polish. The 1930's Marital Scale is an unsettling look at the ideal spouse of days gone by.

87 As a 1930s wife, I am Very Superior Take the test!

Thanks to the always entertaining Red Molly for this much needed distraction.

Cleaning

I hired a charming young lady to come help me clean today and I feel so weird about it. I've done this exactly twice before. The first time I had been sick with bronchial crud for weeks and Passover was rapidly approaching. A group of homeschooled teens were trying to raise money for a trip to Washington DC so it felt like a good thing to help them out and let them help me out. And they were awesome--my own teen has shown no such work ethic around here. The second paid house cleaner came the day before The Dark Lord's bar mitzvah. She was a friend of a friend in a bit of a tight spot so I felt like I was doing her a favor.

This time I had a young woman in my class who was trying to get her housecleaning business off the ground. A few weeks ago I helped her make fliers and business cards and arranged to have her come work for me a time or two before the bar mitzvah. As happens all too often with my students, she's disappeared. She hasn't come to class in a couple of weeks and her voice mail is full. For all I know, she's been deported which at least means she gets to be with her son again so it wouldn't be all bad. For whatever reason, she's gone.

Thus, I ended up searching Craigslist the other night and came up with Sarah who promised to bring her own eco-friendly cleaning supplies. She showed up on time and got to work and has been going non-stop all afternoon.

The thing is, it feels weird to me. I don't know that I'll ever be one of those folks who finds housekeeping to be a deeply spiritual practice. But it does seem that I should be able to manage far better than I do. Mostly I just ignore anything beyond the basics of clean dishes and clothes. When forced (usually due to impending visitors) to clean properly I start out with the best of intentions, wander into another room to put something away, and thus begins a seemingly infinite sequence of distractions at the end of which I find myself both exhausted and baffled by how little I managed to accomplish.

The fabulous Sarah has been working nonstop for the past 3 hours. I've tried to move some of the junk out of her way but she doesn't seem to mind. I imagine that since it's not her junk, it's not a big deal to just work around things rather than get bogged down in decisions about what goes where.

I did a few paid housekeeping stints myself when I was younger and always felt resentful and somewhat superior in that I was sure I'd always be able to clean up my own messes. Hiring someone to clean? How lame. How bourgeois. But that was before kids. These days I find the chaos overwhelming and there's always something or someone demanding my attention more loudly than my kitchen floor. I want to be that serene mother who keeps things under control. I always think that, given a free weekend, I can get it together. Well this is the last weekend before the bar mitzvah and I finally know when I'm beat. I still have a lot of things to do that only I can do so it's not the worst thing in the world to have someone handle the cleaning, is it?

Not Exactly What I'd Hoped...

...but I'd settle for Edwards for VP. If you feel the same way, sign the petition here. I have no idea if it will do any good, but I do know it would be a lot easier for me to vote for Obama with Edwards on the ticket and the polls say it would be a winning combo.

Where I've been....

With 8 days to go before The Big Event I've been just a wee bit busy. I'll spare my readers the full list as it's just short of dizzying but I can say that this much busyness and productivity is quite contrary to my nature.We had 4 yards of garden mulch delivered the other day and it's mostly spread out and working its magic in the rain. My inherited rose garden no longer looks abandoned and overall the yard is looking almost summer ready. The only drawback? I was so sore from shoveling yesterday that I could barely walk and my students were making abuelita jokes about me.What else? Surely the celestial trumpets sounded again last weekend when I found and bought a perfectly respectable brand new ensemble to wear on the big day which, I'm told, allows me to still look like me only dressed up. This is no small thing as there are few things I hate more than shopping for new clothes. I buy nearly everything for under $5 per item at my local thrift store. Shelling out big bucks for brand new isn't easy but if not now, when? At least they're things I'll wear again.

I finished a hat for MonkeyBoy while watching possibly the saddest Bollywood movie ever. There was something very satisfying about brushing away movie tears while finishing the final stitches on the hat, which was a real kick to knit. The "kool" thing about The Koolhaas Hat is that it's based on the wonderful lines at the Seattle Public Library which we so enjoyed visiting in April. One last thing: There's a picture of MonkeyBoy in today's Oregonian along with an article written about local kids' bar/bat mitzvah projects. They didn't really get it right when they talked to him, but he's feeling like a rock star today with his picture in the paper.

This weekend is the final push: Torah readings, clean clothes, clean house, more list making, and so on. We will be going to a party celebrating an old friend's new love which is just so cool.

Encouraging

I'm delighted to see a fatwa against terrorism. Thanks to Colleen for the heads up on this one!

Threads

The tallit is coming along nicely with special thanks to the expert sewing skills of my awesome stepmother . Her stint sewing costumes for drag queens left her absolutely fearless when it comes to sewing shiny, slippery, silky fabrics. What took me hours and caused tears of frustration she handled with utter aplomb.

All that remains now is a bit more handwork. I've put in quite a few hours already, much of it in front of the TV which is about the only way I can sit still long enough to get anything accomplished. Without that anchor I tend to flit from one thing to another getting exactly nothing done. My child comes by his ADD tendencies quite honestly.

Anyway....here's the thing that I wanted to write about because it was just a brief moment, but it was huge. I was watching a fascinating PBS documentary the other night. The Jewish Americans documents the history of the Jews in the US in classic PBS style with interviews, old photos, music and so on. The episode I was watching covered World War II and the post-war period. I thought a lot about my great uncle, a WWII veteran, when the narrator mentioned WWII being the first experience many American Jews had living among non-Jews.

At one point a veteran began to speak about his experience as a Jewish solider liberating the Mauthausen concentration camp in 1945. My great uncle was also a US soldier present at the liberation of Mauthausen and I've never forgotten his haunting stories. With horrifying images floating across the screen I looked down at the work in my hands, the tallit for my son's bar mitzvah, and I became simply overwhelmed.

I'm occasionally struck by the twist of fate that sent my relatives across an ocean while others stayed behind. Many of my Jewish relatives left Europe well before the madness started but I've always wondered about those who remained in Russia, Hungary, and Romania; distant relatives forgotten by the American immigrants. How easily I and my children might have simply never lived or worse, died a horrible death simply because we are Jewish. I don't spend a lot of time entertaining such thoughts but sometimes there they are.

And suddenly it seemed almost miraculous that here we are in 2008, about to celebrate another bar mitzvah in our family. I've gotten caught up in details like invitations and recipes and who's wearing what but there's a whole other facet to this. I don't think I'm putting this into words at all eloquently but the fact that there are still Jewish children coming of age in this world is a huge and wonderful thing.

Details

With exactly three weeks to go until the bar mitzvah, things have been pretty busy around here. There’s a lot to deal with. Three of the 5 of us are learning Torah readings which is a pretty intense process. I still need to figure out what I’m wearing and there’s little in this world I hate as much as shopping for clothes. Because I have some wonderful friends, I am not personally doing much cooking or even organizing the cooks for the post-service luncheon, yet there’s still plenty to think about. Tablecloths? Napkins? Drinks? I am so not a detail person.

And then there are bigger issues such as The Dreaded Parental Speech (hereafter known as the DPS). This had me in a complete tizzy before The Dark Lord’s bar mitzvah. It’s common practice in our synagogue for the parents to stand up in front of everyone and say Deep and Meaningful things to the bar/bat mitzvah kid. I can get pretty nervous about reading Torah given that both Hebrew and melody are involved and neither are strengths for me. The fact is that 99% of the folks in attendance won’t even know if I make a mistake and there will be people there to help me out of I get stuck.

But the DPS is another matter. It’s in English. It’s emotional and big. There you are, in front of the whole world, trying to say something your kid will remember forever and mostly just wanting to cry. No pressure. None at all. So there's that to think about.

But at least the Torah reading is going relatively well apart from a few freakouts. Thanks to MonkeyBoy’s excellent skills, not only does he have his 12 verses pretty well down, but he can coach me and his brother as well.

With 50 million things to do, wouldn’t you know I’d get hit with piles of ideas for things I want to make. The tallit is coming along but I’m also itching to do lots more sewing. I blame it on this book which has filled me with fantasies of hand sewing a complete, one-of-a-kind, richly embellished wardrobe. I was so excited about the techniques in here that I had to give something a try and decided on a gift for MonkeyBoy (who never reads my blog but if you've dropped byMB, just run along, will you?)

Most of the projects in the book use recycled cotton knits from deconstructed T-shirts, which is not only wonderfully soft but makes connections with the author's hometown in cotton country. Many of the projects are embellished with reverse appliqué, a technique that appears fairly simple but actually requires a number of different color choices making for a rich design. Obviously I wasn't going to go with the leafy floral designs in the book, but then it hit me--Hebrew letters would make a lovely design. I quickly hit upon the idea of working with his Hebrew name and made up a freezer paper stencil, painted the design on thrift store T-shirt, pinned on the contrasting fabric from another old T-shirt and had the whole thing stitched up in a couple of hours. I may even get some help from The Spouse with a design for the back. His name means dove in Hebrew so we thought that might be a fitting image but one thing I don't do is draw so that's up to him.I love how it came out (except for the fabric paint that went a little more towards pink than purple, darn it) and I can't wait to spend more time exploring these techniques. But first I guess I'd better focus on what needs to be done in the next few weeks without totally losing my cool.

Tonight as MonkeyBoy was helping me study my Torah reading (in the midst of a massive thunderstorm) I began to despair of ever learning it properly given all I had to do in the coming weeks. He suggested that what I needed to do was to hire a mom to worry about the bar mitzvah details so I could focus on my Torah reading and finishing his tallit. Not a bad idea---any Rent-A-Moms out there?

Bengali Inspired Greens

Have you seen this book? While I have no shortage of Indian cookbooks in my collection, this is the one I dream about owning. I haven't bought it because it's huge and expensive and unwieldy and frankly so gorgeous that I'd be hesitant to bring it into my kitchen and slop it up with turmeric and coconut oil. Instead, I check it out from the library in fairly regular rotation, then lie around and the couch, lazily leafing through the pages, gazing at the stunning photographs, and idly wondering what it would be like to tramp around The Great Subcontinent for months on end.

Until today, my ritual with this book hasn't actually included cooking anything. How's that for irony? Despite the clarity of the recipes and the informative descriptions I think I felt somehow intimidated. But after working in the garden yesterday and noticing that we quite suddenly have mountains of rainbow chard about to bolt, the recipe for Bengali Spiced Greens caught my eye today.

I made up a small batch of panch phoron, a Bengali five-spice powder made up of cumin, nigella, mustard, fenugreek, and fennel seeds. Keeping a wide array of spices on hand makes it easy enough for me to make up fresh blends but I keep almost everything tightly sealed in zip-top bags in the freezer where the spices remain fragrant for a good long time, or at least until I can schlep across town to an Indian market and restock. The recipe said to use whole spices, but I gave everything a good bash with the mortar and pestle for good measure.

I cooked the panch phoron in some oil, added onion and garlic and cooked everything gently until good and soft. At the same time, I'd thrown some potatoes in the microwave to bake for a quickie version of the masala potatoes I use to fill dosas. When the potatoes were just about done, I added the greens to the onion and garlic spice paste and and cooked until everything was wilted but not cooked to death. With a bit of basmati rice and mango pickle, this was a delicious 20-minute lunch. The bright green chard and the brilliant turmeric-yellow potatoes looked gorgeous on the plate, making me almost feel OK about the rain starting up. Again.
The farmers markets around here have lots of locally grown greens right now. I think you'll find this a tasty way to prepare them. The recipe is here.

In Progress

Thanks to the kindness of a friend with both skills and the patience to fiddle around with Hebrew fonts, I was able to transfer the tallit blessing onto a piece of silk using inkjet transfer paper. How cool is that?

The embroidered text is the Hebrew blessing one says when putting on the tallit. It's kind of silly in a way, because everyone who needs to know it usually gets it down pretty quickly. Like most Hebrew blessings it follows a standard format with a few words tossed in at the end for the particular occasion. Still, it's pretty standard to include the text on the atarah, which is the piece that helps the wearer figure out how to put the tallit on.

I'm not so great with embroidery though it's one of many skills I'd like to improve and use more often in my projects. But I'm really enjoying this part. It's not terribly challenging (other than I really need those bifocals now) but each letter is different and requires an assessment of how to fill the space. It's a little bit meditative and not hard to re-do when I screw up. Oh, and it looks smashing, if I do say so myself.

Don't Forget to Vote

For those in Oregon, I just wanted to throw out a reminder to vote. Now.

It's too late for the mail, but you can drop your ballot at numerous sites throughout the state until 8 pm on Tuesday, May 20.

I kind of lost interest in the presidential race when my guy dropped out but I'd planned on writing him in on the primary ballot. However I gave up on that idea once Edwards endorsed Obama. I really hoped he would keep his mouth shut and keep working on the progressive issues no one else would touch. Politics as usual, I guess. Obama might get some white guy votes. I wonder what Edwards will get out of it.

At least I got to vote for this guy, a true progressive with a vision for our state that includes universal health care, affordable college for everyone, and a serious attitude towards global warming.

My boys asked me to take them to yesterday's Obama rally here in Portland. I probably should have but the combination of heat and crowds, not to mention my general lack of enthusiasm for Obama made me say "no". I don't think we were missed among 70,000+ people who did show up.

He's OK, I guess. I'll vote for him but I just can't seem to do so with the passion and starry-eyed awe that so many Obama supporters seem to exhibit. What am I not getting?

Silver Linings

One of the exciting things about becoming a bar mitzvah is that it is the first time a young person gets to wear a tallit in public. Most families we know make a big deal out of the tallit. Either one is specially made after much consideration, or perhaps handed down from a relative. With a weaver in the family (my mother), we expected nothing less than handwoven for The Dark Lord's bar mitzvah. MonkeyBoy, on the other hand, was offered weaving lessons from a good friend and the opportunity to make his own which seemed like a very generous and exciting offer at the time though even then I suspected it would be too much given this friend's often poor health.

The weaving lessons began well over a year ago and MonkeyBoy and his teacher have had great times together. To date I've seen exactly one completed project and became understandably worried giving the rapidly approaching event. I was reassured numerous times that all was well and on track. Then, quite suddenly, with exactly 4 weeks to go, I was informed last night that it would be impossible to complete the project on time. Now I find that with approximately 275 things I need to complete before June 14, I have the added obligation of finding Mr Picky a tallit that would satisfy him. This is the boy who hand colored 80+ invitations so it's safe to say he has his aesthetic standards and takes them seriously. Also, Portland is not New York City or even Los Angeles. We don't have nice Judaica shops where we could browse and compare and we've had no interest in risking mail order.So what's a crafty mama to do? I still have most of the bolt of silk I used to make my tallit years ago and MonkeyBoy found that acceptable. We spent quite some time gathering trims and supplies today and I have to say that I was surprised by the colors that drew him. This is a kid who normally goes for crazy bright colors. The yarmulkes we ordered for the bar mitzvah are purple velvet with silver rickrack, of all things. But what really caught him today was some lovely but rather sedate ribbon with a ginkgo design in slightly off greens. We used that as a starting point and chose accent fabrics and trims accordingly.

There aren't a lot of rules about this particular garment's construction except that it must be 4-cornered, with tzitzit at each corner. The tzitzit are sets of strings tied in a precise formula, kind of a Jewish macrame if you will. These four sets of threads on four corners are the only clearly proscribed element and I've seen lovely variations on this basic idea including elegant vintage lace and exuberant Guatemalan ikat.

While I expect to be doing most of the work on this myself, I realized there was no reason why MonkeyBoy couldn't learn to run the sewing machine and make the corner squares through which the tzitzit will be threaded. Tonight we retired to the cool of our basement for sewing lessons and he did well though I did mention that there was little point in my drawing seam lines on the fabric since he seemed to be ignoring them anyway.While I really wish time wasn't a factor, I am delighted that I get to do this for (and with) my son.

Whew!

With the help of a little Valium I made it through 3 hours in the dentist's chair yesterday for a root canal and two crowns. While the dentist and his staff are very kind and patient but I think what really made yesterday tolerable (apart from the Valium) was that for the first time ever, a dentist actually listened to me about my sensitivity to epinephrine and used an alternative anesthetic. The alternative's effect is much shorter so I ended up having somewhere around 14 separate injections. My mouth is quite sore today, but it's so minimal compared to not feeling like I'm having a heart attack. I really think all my dental anxieties over the years can be directly traced to this one drug which is bad for me. What a different experience when someone actually listens.

So, for anyone in the Portland area, needing an excellent mercury-free dentist, do let me know. I get a $20 credit for each patient I refer. Since I still need another $2000 worth of work before my mouth is mercury free, every little bit will help.

Bee Pants and the Dark Lord's Face

How's that for a title?

I mentioned The Dark Lord's Mother's Day gift to me in yesterday's post. Wow! Is this kid gorgeous or what?

He asked me why mothers hate long hair. I thought about it and realized I have absolutely nothing against long hair and often find it quite fetching. Except on my boys. It's not about looking respectable or tidy. It's just that I want to see their lovely faces and when their hair is short I don't have to wait for the occasional parting of great drifts of hair to get a glimpse. I know I drove him crazy staring at his face which has changed so much in recent months. I think the girls at school gave him the seal of approval today. What do mothers know anyway?

I spent a few minutes finishing up the promised Bee Pants for The Princess. I can't even begin to describe how delightful I find the bee ribbon which I added around the hem of these loose, comfy, summery linen pants. I think I might need a pair myself.

Happy Mother's Day

Many years ago, shortly after The Spouse and I got married, I went to school with "an older woman", the mother of a teenage daughter. I remember her telling me that one her favorite ways to spend time was sitting in a cafe with her daughter, reading, writing, and talking together. My goodness, that sounded like the most idyllic thing in the world but something I doubted I'd ever achieve. Even before having kids I had my doubts about parenting a teenager.
So where does Mother's Day find me? In my favorite cafe with The Dark Lord who is writing a paper for English class. He's a little stressed out, so our cafe interlude hasn't been quite idyllic, but given how many kids refuse to go out in public with their parents, I'm pretty pleased. He's even come up with Mother's Day gift for me. I'll have to pay for it, but I don't mind. He's getting his hair cut!

Now if it's tangible gifts I needed, thank goodness for 5 year old girls. The Princess has been steadily cranking out fabulous, sparkly Mother's Day gifts for me and squirreling them away for the better part of a month. There's a necklace made with glitter and styrofoam, a tiny paper fan that has the word love written all over it, an embroidered bookmark, and a card, all wrapped in a bag Sharpie-printed all over with the word MOM. Am I lucky or what?

I have friends struggling to come to terms with infertility and other friends waiting to adopt. I know today can't be easy for them. I don't know what the future holds for these families, but I know that things often unfold in ways we can't even imagine. I am thinking of them today, too, even as I celebrate my own blessings as a mother.

As if I have anything to complain about....

My dental woes are pretty small potatoes compared the the devastation of Myanmar by Cyclone Nargis. Now they're predicting over 100,000 dead. 100,000 children, fathers, sisters, grandmothers, farmers, students, babies....I can't even begin to fathom such a number. They're reporting over a million homeless and extensive damage to the Burmese rice crop which could worsen the global food crisis.

Much of the tragedy, as I understand it was avoidable. The cyclone was not a surprise. How many people would still be alive had the government done its job and given evacuation orders?

I made my donation through American Jewish World Service, just one of many worthy organizations doing good work to help in this disaster. The urgent need for food, shelter, drinking water, and medicine is likely to continue for a long time.

Facing Fears

In a remarkable show of bravery, I faced down one of my biggest fears today. I went to the dentist. Over the years my dread of going to the dentist has grown to such epic proportions that anything (rolling naked in broken glass, for example) would be preferable. I'm a good mom, I take my kids regularly but I tend to stay out of the chair unless something really drastic pushes me to go.

I have a broken molar with an exposed filling which has been leaking mercury into mouth for a couple of months. About the amount of time I've been feeling lousy as it happens. My doc suggested I deal with it as soon as possible and after scaring myself silly reading about the effects of mercury on autoimmune diseases I decided maybe I could call the mercury-free dentist nearby. When a $100 coupon for new patients appeared in the neighborhood paper I took it as a sign and made the call.

The dentist is kind and quiet and his staff is very friendly. Everyone was sensitive to my tendency to panic in the dentist's chair. I don't think I could have asked for a a better experience. I wish I could say it was one of those cases when all my worry was for nothing but, in fact, my mouth is a mess and I need up to $3000 worth of work immediately, with another $2000 to make my mouth truly mercury free.

That's a lot of money, especially when I'll be paying off my hospital adventure for a couple more years. And MonkeyBoy's bar mitzvah is approaching quickly. It would be easy for me to make excuses and put this off because I can think of many far more exciting ways to spend that money. But I guess I need to be a grownup and deal with it. At least I feel a tiny bit braver about things......

Cheesecake

Is there anything in this world that's been more abused and mistreated than the cheesecake? I have come across so many cheesecakes that are overly sugary and flavored with far too heavy a hand. Mocha, grasshopper, raspberry, oreo....I'm sorry, but yuck.

I was raised on my grandmother's cheesecake, a simple thing of understated beauty which no one could top. She would happily make it for us whenever requested and it added something special to many of our family celebrations. But I'm not giving you her recipe. She wrote it out for me once but my results never resembled hers. I always kind of thought she left something major out of either the ingredient list or the directions, but she insists she gave me the very recipe she used. I long ago gave up on that one and have realized that there are some of her dishes whose flavor I'll never be able to duplicate.

But a number of years ago, craving the heavenly flavor of a simple cheesecake, I came across a recipe somewhere on the internet and have been using it ever since. The problem is I have no idea where the recipe came from and who should be praised. I feel terrible about this because this cheesecake is a marvel: simple to make and absolutely heavenly.

For those looking for a heavy crusted chocolate turtle mudslide experience, you'll need to look elsewhere. No crust here--just the simple flavor of sweet dairy with a hint of lemon and vanilla. Fresh strawberries served alongside are all the adornment needed but even they aren't truy necessary.If you've never tried making a cheesecake, this is where you want to start. There's no crust to muddle around with and as long as you can separate eggs you are good to go. Do plan ahead in that you want this cake chilled before unmolding and serving. The recipe is here. I'd love to hear how it goes for you.

The Best Medicine

I spent the weekend trying to not feel as lousy as I've been feeling. My naturopath has me on a a staggering supplement regimen which required a complex grid to keep track of what and when. Downing pills took up much of my time and during the rest I was restless and cranky. I had every excuse in the world to lie around and read but no book held my interest. My current knitting projects were similarly unappealing. Food? Yuck. I'm a bad invalid.

But we've been graced with that most marvelous springtime gift here in Portland: brilliant sunshine. The Princess and I got to spend a couple of absolutely perfect hours in the park today, sprawled out under the newly leafed trees. We had the company of lovely friends, insane squirrels, a stately blue heron, and a very busy flicker. There's not much better than lying on new grass looking up at a jewel blue sky through the leaf lace.
By the time we had to pack up and leave I felt almost 100% restored.

Not such a great day. I've been feeling pretty rotten and today's doctor visit and lab results confirmed my suspicion that my thyroid has been acting up once again. My new doctor is great and I feel like she has a good handle on things. I knew I'd been out of balance for a while but somehow having the professional confirmation and the lab results to back that up just make me feel worse. It's a strange kind of wobbly, wired exhaustion. I'm too hyped up to rest and too brain-fogged to accomplish much of anything.

But here's something absolutely wonderful: my sweet daughter can knit! This child has been dragged to knitting gatherings since she was a babe in arms and has always wanted to join the club. I don't know how many times she's asked me to teach her but the coordination just wasn't there. There's been a lot of effort and frustration as she really, really wanted to become a knitter. We hadn't tried in a while but we had a quiet moment yesterday. We gave it another go and suddenly she's off and running using the same four steps I teach everyone.

In, around, back, off, in around, back, off.....

Mosaic Monday....OK, Tuesday

1. Dots Of Flowers, 2. Untitled, 3. C365, 213 - Circles in Progress, 4. Circles, 5. Times Square, 6. Red.Petals, 7. Pink flowering Tree, 8. Berried Cedar Waxwing, 9. 9 delicious red leaves, 10. Vine, 11. parcheggio abusivo, 12. True Blue, 13. existence, 14. "Me arrégle esos pelos", 15. green shadow, 16. spring in Tennessee_4

So many gorgeous Flickr photos. The problem? I'm starting to crave a better camera....

Constructive Avoidance Tactics

It's been fairly quiet around here. The Great Bar Mitzvah Invitation Saga has kept me quite busy what with shopping for paper, trips to the printer, repeated design attempts, and of course keeping MonkeyBoy's nose to the grindstone. He was the one who decided he would hand color all his invitations so he's on a strict 10-a-day schedule. The stoners nice folks at Kinko’s have made things more complicated and time consuming than necessary but I did not bite anyone's head off when told of the latest delay. I am trying really hard not to give in to the panic that rears its head when I start thinking about what it will take to pull off a bar mitzvah in six weeks.

Maybe that's why I've been drawn to my spinning wheel lately. I have quite a few hand dyed rovings to get me through this spinning frenzy and I predict quite a few skeins of yarn coming off the wheel in the next few weeks. Currently I'm about halfway through 4 ounces of something gorgeous from Dicentra Designs.

I love spinning fiber like this as it's such a thrill to watch the colors change. I have no idea what this yarn will become but right now I'm just happy making it.

Next up, a sewing project. The Princess needs some light, summery pants and while choosing fabric I also found the most delightful bee ribbon. Hopefully I can make the fabulous bee-trimmed linen pants that are in my head a reality. Sewing never seems to work out that way for me, but I can always hope.

Granola

About halfway through Passover I started craving granola which, being made of oats, is definitely on the forbidden list for the week. I tortured myself looking at recipes I couldn't make until Passover ended and finally purchased the needed ingredients yesterday. I still haven't switched my dishes, but by 9 o'clock last night I had a big batch of granola cooling on top of the stove.

I've made granola plenty of times and yet I 'm always delighted at how a good mix of ingredients and only the slightest effort produces something so much tastier than can be bought. I tried the recipe from Nigella Lawson's Feast which has gotten rave reviews all over the place and I wasn't disappointed. Yes, I know, there's an awful lot of Nigella around here what can I say? She 's never let me down.

Her granola recipe includes applesauce which seemed a little weird to me but I think it helps everything stick together without a frightful amount of oil and also softens the texture just enough that you don't fear cracking your teeth.
This batch was made with sliced almonds, cashews, pepitas, dried cherries and dried apricots. Yum. Surely you want to make some yourself. The recipe is here. Enjoy!

Matzoh Crack

We used to call it toffee matzoh around here, but the description from Smitten Kitchen seems to have taken hold this year and for good reason. This stuff is delicious and, yes, downright addictive. In fact, it's what gets us through the long, tedious, post seder days of Passover.

It takes all of 10 minutes to make and the only hard part is waiting for it to cool. Heat a stick of butter and a half cup of brown sugar in a saucepan and cook until the sugar is dissolved. Add a pinch of kosher salt and 1/2 teaspoon of vanilla extract. Set aside to cool. Line 2 cookie sheets with foil and cover completely with matzoh, breaking the sheets as necessary to fill in gaps. Spread the melted sauce evenly over the matzoh and pop into a 350 degree oven until caramel starts to bubble. Remove from the oven and sprinkle with chocolate chips. Wait 5 minutes or so, until the chocolate is soft, and spread evenly over matzohs. You can top the melted chocolate with chopped nuts if you like. Put trays in the refrigerator to cool. Then eat. Not all at once if you can help it.

I probably should have brought this up before the end of Passover, but the good news is you should be able to find marked down matzoh in stores now.

Rain, Rain Go Away

Those of you living elsewhere, take pity on us Portlanders. Apart from one notable exception, it's been the longest winter ever: rain, wind, hail, and even April snow in the hills. I'm not one to complain about our damp and mossy climate but it's been cold and miserable. I don't know if it's a lack of vitamin D or something else, but I've about had it with wet and gray.

Here's my antidote. I realize it's not to everyone's taste but it makes me laugh and I can't get the tune out of my head.

Passover News Item

I don't even know what to say about this other than it's nice to see a protest in Israel that doesn't involve violence. But still.

Iraqi Macaroons

The seder meal is rarely terribly innovative at my house, especially when I am serving to my older relatives. We start with gefilte fish and matzo ball soup and then move on to some kind of vegetarian main dish alongside brisket or chicken, allowing me and the kids who are concerned about such things to keep vegetarian while the meat eaters are satisfied, too. There's asparagus, tzimmes, and fruit salad as well along with charoset and horseradish.

Even dessert is pretty standard. Unless the holiday falls super early in the year and edible berries have yet to arrive on our supermarket shelves, I make a flourless sponge cake rolled around whipped cream and strawberries which, I'm sorry to say, does not photograph well. This year's berries were not so good, especially after the exuberantly fragrant ones we ate last month in San Jose, but liberal additions of sugar and vanilla brought them to life. Plus, when surrounded by clouds of whipped cream, what's not to like?

It was feeling a bit too formulaic for me this year and I started looking around for something to spice things up. While re-reading the Passover chapter in Nigella Lawson's Feast, I came across her recipe for Iraqi Macaroons which looked more or less like the standard homemade variety with the addition of freshly ground cardamom and rosewater. Freshly ground cardamom? I'm there!

Aren't they cute? So plump and nutty, and vaguely exotic. And they were the surprise hit of our seder. I thought they'd be politely declined (more for me!) but everyone requested a few in their take-home packages.

Do give these a try as they are quite delightful. Being quite sturdy I imagine they would likely travel well. Also, as I'm finding more and more folks eschewing wheat, I like having a few wheat free options for sharing. The recipe is here.

The Eyes Have It

Lately I've been making good use of my shiny new insurance card and I've been catching up on a number of things. While I still can't quite face my dental phobias, I have gone in for a few maintenance procedures which can make me a bit jumpy. I always feel quite grown up and proud of myself when I make those tiresome appointments and then get through them without snapping at anyone.

However, given the lack of either large, cold machines and/or blood, I expected my eye exam to be smooth sailing. I'd already come to terms with the fact bifocals were on the horizon given the amount of optical gymnastics required to read knitting patterns up close while trying to follow subtitles on the TV across the room. I don't have a huge hangup about this. I am fully aware of just how old I am and really,what's the alternative?

But I'm in pretty good about denial in other areas, I guess. I really like this eye doctor but hadn't seen him in years due to the high fees at his office. When I walked in and sat down the first question out of his mouth was whether I'd had my thyroid tested. I explained that I'd just had blood drawn and hadn't yet gotten my results but that I was being treated successfully for Grave's Disease and had been more or less asymptomatic for a while. Or so I thought.

Apparently I'm developing thyroid eye disease and it was apparent to him as soon as he saw me. Once we started talking I realized that, yeah, my eyes have gotten super light sensitive and yeah, they've felt a bit dry but I hadn't really put two and two together. I still don't quite understand everything but apparently among all the damage an overactive thyroid can cause is a swelling of certain optical muscles, causing the eyeballs to protrude and to interfere with the body's normal process of lubricating the eyes which pretty well explains the light sensitivity and the discomfort.

I'm not on a fast track to blindness and I'm very grateful for the fact that I'm not exhibiting any signs of either the glaucoma which blinded my grandfather or the macular degeneration that's made things so hard for my grandmother. But it is possible that my vision may deteriorate and that is a very frightening thought. I have had plenty nightmares about losing my glasses and trying to find my way around. The thought of losing any of my vision is very sobering.

I have really not dealt well with my illness. I tend to ignore my body's signals to slow down, and I resent it when I do. I haven't figured out how to treat my body gently without feeling weak, like a loser. Instead I tend to push on and ignore whatever my body is trying to tell me.

I had thought things were going along just fine but to have signs of my illness so readily apparent has thrown me. That and the fear of ending up looking like Marty Feldman (who also had Grave's Disease).

Public Debut

Yes, I am a crazy person. Elisheva commented that she was surprised I had time to take an all-day train trip three days before the first seder. I didn't, not really, but off we went anyway with a promise from the kids that they would work like Israelite slaves to help me get ready for Passover. And they mostly did. I did mention to my grandmother that I have been more prepared for seders than I was last night, but things came together and we managed the streamlined seder that my older relatives favor. I felt a bit let down after all my work, but I should know to think of this as an intergenerational gathering rather than to expect a spiritually significant ritual.

After all the racing to get ready for last night's seder, and knowing that we'd be spending the second seder with good friends, today stretched before me with virtually nothing to do. I decided to make good on my promise to The Spouse to have The Monster finished for him to wear at Passover. Technically I'd "finished" it two weeks ago. But after carefully following the pattern directions, the button band was a warped, distorted mess. I figured today was as good an opportunity as any to re-knit the button band and finish the thing once and for all. I knitted like a madwoman and sewed the last button on only minutes before we were due to leave. The Monster was finally ready for its public debut at tonight's seder where I couldn't help but smile every time I looked at my sweetie across the heavily laden table. It was a delightful evening made even better by knowing The Monster was done for good.

Passover is a festival of liberation and, while I realize its themes are far more weighty than my knitting struggles, I can't help but feel a sense of freedom at putting this particular project behind me. All the effort proved to be worth it once I saw the smile on its recipient's face.

Walnut Pate

It's that time of year again and the massive cooking extravaganza has begun. Today I started the stock for the matzoh ball soup. I also made tzimmes and lemon curd, as well as a large batch of walnut pate. A week without bread, pasta, and tortillas leaves us wanting lots of different spreads to perk up all that matzoh. That first taste at the seder is wonderful but as the week rolls on, a change of pace is appreciated. That's how lemon curd and walnut pate became staples for us this time of year.

In all my frenzied list-making I almost forgot about walnut pate. The Dark Lord reminded me yesterday and it's a good keeper so I made up a big batch today. This recipe is often called (rather sadly in my opinion) mock chopped liver. That makes sit sound like it's not quite something else when what it is is delicious. So we are making a concerted effort to rename this tasty, high protein Passover standby (though it could easily be made any time of year). It's simple enough: onions, eggs, and walnuts--but these few things work magic together once the onions have browned deeply and the walnuts are lightly toasted. It doesn't make a spectacular food photo, but as a spread on matzoh (or bread) it can't be beat. Think of this when you need something a little different for your next picnic or sack lunch. You'll find the recipe here.