What you don't want to hear (from your doctor, at an annual check up): "Have you felt this lump before? "
What you do want to hear (from the technician at the mammogram center, the very next day): "We don't see anything to worry about".
Now, it was only 24 hours between those two comments, and in that time I had imagined the worst, many times over. I imagined not seeing my kids grow up. I imagined my sweet husband, trying to mange without me. I imagined trying to tell my grandmother I had the same disease she's struggled with for years. I worried about how to pay for treatment. Nothing like a bit of good, old fashioned unfounded panic, I always say.
But also I felt the warmth and love of the people I'd told, especially as I sat, wrapped in a silly little pink gown, waiting for results. I knew that I had enough support to handle whatever might come, and that's a remarkably good feeling. Almost as good as being told there's nothing to worry about.